Day: 1; 252 days left

This morning when I woke up my knee was twice the size of my other one. Unable to move it, and barely able to walk I got dressed and we were off to church. When we arrived at the YMCA for the corporate gathering we noticed as we pulled in that everything was set up outside in front of the Y. No one showed up this morning to unlock the doors for us to have our weekly service as usual. With a total of five chairs, a park bench, and a couple of pick-up trucks backed up with people in the back we began to worship. This was not in the plans, but we overcame.

In all honesty my spirits are way down. It is a constant battle for me as I think back to the failures brought forth by the last time I blew my other knee out. It seems as if that was the point in history when my attitude took a turn for the wors

e. My self-esteem dropped, and I took on the name failure. No one gave me that name, just me. At that point, however, I began the streak of not finishing things out. Jumping from job to job, and chasing the next big thing. My dreams were shattered, and I had no idea what to do next. So I started drinking, smoking, the occasion

al experiment with marijuana, and a state of depression that was masked by all the things mentioned above. My fear this morning, was another failure. Another goal/dream down the drain because my knee couldn’t hold up.

All of the sudden these beautiful words rang out among the small congregation standing together in worship outside. These words, written by Charitie L. Boncroft in 1863:

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

These words made me realize that this attitude developed in the physical realm so many years ago has so horribly affected my spiritual life. The words of the enemy ringing in my ear so often telling me, “you are a sinner, why would God use you?”, or “Why do that? You will only fail again.” These words have haunted me, they have stopped me seeking education, stopped me from getting physically healthy, and worst of all they have stopped me in my confidence of my calling.

The reminder is that Jesus has bore the my sins and paid the price. I have been pardoned and the enemy’s lies have no effect on me. Just as Bridge Church continued on this morning in spite of the enemies attempts to slow down the message, and distract us as we kick of twenty-one days of fasting and prayer, I too  shall overcome the obstacle, for it was God who called me to it, and it will be He who carries me on to its completion.