I have fallen, once again, into the pit called depression. I seem to be in this pit quite often, at least more often than I would like. I have determined the source; it seems that this happens when I am seemingly distant from a connection with the Father. My heart hurts when it feels no connection with or to God, thus driving me into this pit of sorrow. It always amazes me how much this effects my life in the physical world as well as the spiritual.
My efforts to find my way out of the pit have been futile, until of course I realize that it is only by calling out to the Helper that I find my lifeline. In speaking with people whom I love and respect I have received advise as to how I should seek the Father. Fasting, closing myself into a solitary place of silence, bowing on my knees before the King; all good advice and excellent practices but none of them were accompanied by the voice of my King. One could probably blame the lack of voice during the fast on myself, because I honestly am not very good at it.
Today, oh today was different! I heard Him speak! Not during my “quiet time”, or not while I kneel in prayer, but in the least likely of places. CrossFit. Actually, this seems to be a place where He teaches me things quite a bit, maybe that is why I love it so much. It has been a while, but once again I received a word from my Lord while physically beating myself up. The lesson was/is perseverance.
As I bend over in total exhaustion, dripping with sweat and fighting to catch my breath my coach comes along side of me and encourages me to get back up and finish the workout. Perseverance. There I sit, half way through the journey fighting to find the motivation to continue, and God says to me that stopping now and sitting on the side of the road is not acceptable. Even though the battle is difficult, even though the journey is seemingly impossible, I must keep moving forward. You cannot get stronger if you stop short of finishing the workout.
Just like each workout is designed to strengthen and prepare us for ultimate fitness, our lives are full of seasons of trial designed to strengthen us and equip us for the mission we have been given in Christ. Even though it hurts, even though I feel like I can’t go any further, I must persevere because quitting is not an option.