This morning I am feeling this overwhelming emotional response to the idea of our youth. I can’t get the picture of the four groups of girls that I have under my leadership out of my head. As the image of these kids plays over and over again in my mind, my heart begins to violently tumble around in my chest. I don’t really know how to explain it. I just can’t shake this feeling inside of a sense of responsibility. Yes, I know that I am responsible for them and I know that God has placed me here to impact them in some way, but there is this feeling inside this morning that I just get past. What is it? I don’t know, but the only thing I can think of to explain is as my dad said once before “Holy heartburn”. I don’t even really know what it means, but it sounds so right. This feeling is almost uncomfortable and overpowering.
All I know is that I want to help them. I can sense hurt and thirst for someone to empower them. Not that there aren’t people in their lives like parents and pastors who are trying to do so, but I feel like I need to be a part of it. Yes, I am in a way, but to be honest cheerleading is great but not the end all. It is just an avenue by which I can have a presence in their lives to infect them with the Gospel. How though? How do I coach in such a way that shows Jesus yet encourages them to reach deep down inside and grab ahold of their potential and live in it daily? All I want is for the Holy Spirit to burn them up and consume them. To see them, to see one of them shift from the worries of this world to passionately follow Jesus and be on mission for Him would grant me the ability to take a deep and rehabilitating breath of fresh air. I wish that through text you could feel emotion, because I just can’t tell you in words my burden for these girls, for my girls.
My insufficiencies are seemingly in the way, my flesh does not posses the ability to impact them in any meaningful way. In my person I am unconfident and unsure, but my spirit is crying out to Him to push past me and fill them to overflowing. God I beg you to fill them and show them how great and wonderful you have made them. Let them see how much you love them and desire for them to seek you as you have pursued them! Pray for these girls, pray somehow that through them we can see the rest of the youth in this city reached with His gospel and take it to the ends of the earth. Pray for me, this burden on my heart is too great for me to handle, I can’t get over it. Pray that when they leave the gym they are radiating the God’s glory so brightly that it reveals what is in the darkness around them and blinds those who come near them so that they can see clearly the glory of God. Pray for me, this is not a ploy to get people to say nice things to me. Don’t! Just pray, I have no idea what I am doing. I am solely leaning on Jesus for this and sometimes feel lost and unsure if I am doing it right.
Jesus is the goal, not first place or grand champs (though those are some of our goals), not even that I get seen as a great coach or mentor, but that Jesus name rings louder than any bell from any steeple! Pray for fire from heaven to burn this place up and bring young people to Himself and that they will go out and be used by Him.